I didn't intend to be a swimmer...

...but then I ran in 74% humidity.

The slowest five miles I think I've ever gone. 1:22:06. It was awful. I hated every single second. Mother Naruee needs to get her act together. I live in the Midwest. Not a freaking rain forest.

Quick Running Update

The holiday is really messing with my schedule, but I managed to get out for a quick 2 miles today.

Plus, I got some new running gear and books on sale, and have plans to get a kayak tomorrow. Cross training here I come!

I Missed Two Days

I ran 0 miles on Thursday. Instead, I went with my family to put flowers on graves. Family comes before running.

Today, I got up to run and there was thunder and lightning. I draw the line at running in lightning, so I went back to bed. 

Now, that I've skipped a couple of days, I'm thinking it wasn't a bad idea. My hip is feeling better. And I have a race in two weeks, and it would be nice to run it without my hip killing me. No excuses. Back to the grind tomorrow.

Flawed Logic: An Integral Part of Running

 

5 miles. 1:18:28.

Tonight is my Friday. I had a hard time getting out for my run today. I was tired. I am tired. I’m ready for my weekend. When I finally got my gear on and headed out the door. I still didn’t feel like running. After the first mile out, I still didn’t feel like running. I got back to my house after the second mile (I did an out-and-back first one way, then the other.), I almost threw in the towel and headed to the showers.

That’s when I thought, “I’ve already run 2, I might as well run 3 more.”

In my head, that made perfect sense. And I did finish my five miles for the day, but I thought about it later and realized that in no world did that logic make any sense whatsoever. It still did the trick.

Running is absolutely 100 percent head games. That and a pinch of flawed logic.

I am one large tan line: includes illustration

I noticed after my run today (6 miles. 1:25:15.) that my tan lines are getting out of hand. It’s not even summer yet, and my tan lines are absolutely ridiculous.

Here is a surprisingly accurate illustration.

*Special thanks today go to the person who drew this outline. It is the first image when you do a google image search for “female outline.” I mutilated it for my purposes. I apologize.

Trolley Track Trail

I managed to not only work 20 hours this weekend, but also run 19 miles. There’s no denying it. I’m pretty proud of myself. I wasn’t sure I had it in me. I really wasn’t.

Saturday. 14 miles. 3:34:17.

Since I really dislike running long distances on the streets where I have to keep an eye out for cars, I decided to run the Trolley Track Trail. I had a brilliant idea to park in the middle of it in front of a pizza place in order to use the pizza as motivation to finish. It worked really, really well.

I took a detour around mile 3 on the trail to run by the Nelson-Atkins Art Museum. I ran through their sculpture park, and took some pictures of their famous Shuttlecocks.

Then on my way back to my car for the first time, I saw a line of geese holding up traffic. It was hilarious. The cars were honking, and the geese were minding their own business and taking their own sweet time. I tried to get a picture, but by the time I got my camera out the spectacle was mostly gone.

About mile 9, I started hurting. My legs ached, and my left hip gave me a lot of trouble. My pace for the last 4 miles sucked, to say the least. By the end, it hurt more to walk than to attempt a slow run, so I stubbornly plodded on to the pizza at the end of the rainbow.

I made it.

Sunday. 5 miles. 1:07:50.

Sunday’s run pleased me to no end. I felt good despite the soreness in my legs and gave it a good go. I managed a fairly consistent pace, and didn’t have to take any walking breaks. Yay!

I have started icing my hip. Hopefully, that will help with the inflammation. I probably should have taken well documented running advice and not increased my running by such a large margin, but it’s too late now. We’re in it for the long haul. I even bought a road id. Thought it would be a good idea since I’m going to be out on the run so much.

Resting today. Back out pounding the pavement tomorrow.

Some days aren’t for running…

6 miles. 1:31:15.

I walked a lot today. I walked less than I ran, but… I walked more than usual. Sometimes, it’s hard. Sometimes, you just wanna walk. Sometimes, you just aren’t feeling it. Today was one of those days.

I also saw a snapping turtle in the creek.

Cows were my running partners.

5 miles. 1:11:52.

I kid you not. This herd of cows really wanted to run with me today. They followed me as I ran along their pasture. Mostly, I think they wanted me to feed them. Cows really aren’t that bright.

Later, I found a dead bird and I looked at it. I would have poked it with a stick, but I didn’t have a stick, so I took a picture instead.

Lisa smelled it, determined that it wasn’t good for eating, and left it be.

Scruffy just wanted us to stop taking pictures and keep running, so that’s what we did.

I made the mistake of eating a huge dinner before I went for running. I was going to go for a run earlier in the day, but then I fell asleep, and then my parents made a delicious dinner of fish and potatoes and wilted lettuce fresh from the garden. I ate waay too much. Let’s just say… I stopped for picture taking because the tummy was stuffed and did not want me to be running.

The bottom line is that I finished. I got to mark and x through my calendar and continue to feel good about myself. That’s the important part.

Week Number 2!

 

6 miles. 1:22:28.

I can already feel myself getting stronger. Today’s run was much easier than my first run last week. I’m still having a hard time with feeling hungry 100% of the time. I’ve never felt like this before. I’ve also never run 30 miles a week before, so I suppose I will learn how to deal with it.

I tried out my new shoes again today. I finally bought a pair of shoes big enough for me. I usually buy exactly the right size for my feet and then when my feet swell from running, there is no room in the shoes. I purposefully bought shoes that felt extra-big. I think it’s going to be for the best. Time will tell.

Weekend Recap

Saturday. 12 miles. 2:58:16. I can’t believe I ran 12 miles for no reason. I didn’t get a medal or anything, but I totally did it. About an hour after finishing, I thought I was going to vomit my guts out. I didn’t. I got some food in me, and felt much better. Otherwise, it was very much a nice run.

Sunday. 5 miles. 1:10:13. We also took my mom to the zoo, and we went shopping at Academy Sports. I bought some new running shoes (My old shoes might just have holes in the sides.), and tried them out on my run when we got home. They are nice except they gave me a blister on the back of my left foot. I think that will be okay once they are broken in.

It seems that I ran 34 miles last week. It’s the highest mileage I’ve ever done for one week, and I think that is only going to go up. I sometimes wonder who I am.

I’ve been starving all week. I think my metabolism has been working on overdrive.

Thursdays

Thursdays are hard for me. On Thursdays, I’m either going on my overnight shift or coming off of it. Yesterday was Thursday. Yesterday, I came off overnights. Yesterday, I ran my six miles, but fell asleep before I had time to blog it.

Six miles. 1:19:39. Katy Trail, baby. Gottta love it.

The Katy Trail starts near where my parents live, so when I get a chance I like to run there. It’s flat, fast, and I don’t have to worry about any cars running me down. That is the biggest plus. I really hate running on roads for exactly that reason. The only drawback is that the Dogwood 50k is going to be hilly, but I think I’ll have enough hills under my belt by then to not have too much of a problem with it.

 

See how pretty it is. Since it used to be a railroad, it runs right along a highway. It’s mostly covered with trees and you don’t notice the highway at all.

I also saw a stealth bomber. The pictures didn’t turn out that great, but if you squint just right you can see it in the middle of these next two pictures, just above that bush.

There were loads of flowers blooming.

Also, tons of poison ivy. You don’t want to get off the trail, because it’s everywhere.

Sometimes, the poison ivy is even right near the flowers. Beware. Better to look and take pictures than try to pick the flowers. You might take home an itchy rash as well.

The hills are killing me.

Just finished run number two of 50k training.

5.2 miles. 1:15:56.

For those of you who care about those things (I do only enough to mention it in passing.), I ran a super positive split. For the uninitiated, negative splits are what runners aim to do. I, however, do so enjoy being a rebel. Turns out that when you live on a hill and run downhill for the first half of your run, it seems easy and you feel like your flying. Then you head home, and… death. At least, it feels like death anyway. I’m going to have to work on hill running. The good thing about living at the top of a river bluff, it’s easy to find hills to run on. HA!

I opted to run the commercial district near my house today. It made a nice change from yesterday’s running of the rabid, bite-y dogs. People really make me happy. I especially notice it in the commercial areas. Everyone is always excited to see me. I don’t know why. Maybe they just think that I look like I need to be out getting exercise. Whatever it is, I do so enjoy people who are happy to see me. Always wave at runners. We appreciate it. Especially us slow runners. We need all the encouragement we can get.

Lastly, the highlight of running down in the commercial area rather than up in the neighborhood around my house is the mystery staircase. I call it the mystery staircase because it doesn’t really go anywhere, it isn’t connected to any sidewalks, and it doesn’t seem like anyone has cared for it in ages. It also keeps me from having to go across the railroad tracks (where sometimes you have to wait upwards of 10 minutes for trains to pass) and from having to go up the scary hill road that doesn’t have a sidewalk. I took pictures just for you, my loyal motivators.

Kickoff Tuesday

I’m not entirely sure how to go about this. My training schedule dictates that I run 5 days per week, and I am imagining that an update after every single run will get old quite fast. On the other hand, if I don’t update after every single run, this chronicle may not be the motivation I need. Administrative details.

First run today. 6 miles. 1:3137. I felt every single mile. It turns out, all the loafing I did for the last three months wasn’t actually conducive to getting ready to train for a 50k. Luckily, I didn’t try to do a 50k today. I would have died.

I tried a slightly new route. Big hill. Many doge. Sketchy neighborhood (Who am I kidding? I live in a sketchy neighborhood.).

The hill. The hill. At one time, I may have been able to run up that bastard hill. Today was not that time. I walked it. I’m a wuss. Also, the stupid, little, yappy dog bit me in the leg. Not hard. My leg is fine, but it’s the principle of the matter. I may have kicked him in the head. Not hard. Just enough to startle him. I couldn’t believe he did that. I still can’t believe he did that.

In conclusion, I’m out of shape and lunch for tiny animals. Such is life.

My epic quest for cheap metal and a hoodie

Last year, I started running. I’m not fast by any means, but I’m stubborn, and stubbornness is really all you need to finish a race. That’s all I am looking to do. Finish races and collect medals, because apparently, I am incredibly motivated by a 50 cent piece of metal.

As it turns out, I became especially covetous of the hoodie sported by finishers of the Dogwood Canyon 50k trail run. I saw one on the bus to the Rock ‘n Roll New Orleans Half Marathon in February, and I immediately wanted one. I considered running the race, almost immediately discarded the idea, and then signed up to run it 3 days later.

A few weeks after that, I decided I needed to work my way up to that distance, so I signed up to run the War Eagle 25k in June. I’m also considering doing a full marathon a month before Dogwood, and two halfs the month after. I am a glutton for punishment.

I think I might need some extra motivation if I am to actually achieve these goals, so I decided to blog about it. I’ve got my training schedule ready. I’m using a schedule I found in Relentless Forward Progress: A Guide to Running Ultramarathons, and I have it all laid out on a calendar in my iPad. I am ready. I can do this. I am going to write about it.

My first training day is Tuesday. Be ready.

And…

May the fourth be with you!

Do you remember the huge boxes of Crayolas everyone wanted in elementary school? I'm sure you do. Even if you didn't have one, you wanted one. I know I did. Until, I think, the third or fourth grade the 64 pack was the one to have. It had all the best colors. Sure, there were the originals, red, blue, yellow, and all that, but it also had the fancy colors. You remember them. Burnt sienna, jungle green, cerulean blue. See, those memories are flowing back.

Now that you remember, what was your favorite? Aside from black, which is the one crayon that was so short, it didn't have a point any longer, and the sleeve was in shreds? Mine was cerulean blue. In my books, this color ruled the world. I always questioned what a cerulean meant, but to this day have never taken the two seconds on google to figure it out. I realize now that I don't even care. The sense of wonder that crayon gave me, the creativity and beauty (as much as a 7 year-old's drawings are beautiful), is worth the unknown for once in my life. I don't need to know. I don't want to know.

The downside to cerulean blue being the best color, and there was a downside, was that the worst color in the whole box looked so similar to my beloved cerulean that I would sometimes grab it, thinking that it was cerulean, and when I started coloring the most awful color ever to grace a Crayola crayon would ruin my masterpiece. Cornflower blue, you know who you are. You are, to this day, the most vile crayon hiding out in my beloved 64 pack of Crayolas. You existed to spite me. I always believed that, even if I didn't know the words. 

Cornflower, even though you were my most reviled color, I never considered getting rid of you. I never considered tossing you out in to the trash (which would have easily been done). That would have left a hole in my collection. My family would have been missing a piece. 

The scouring pad lay in the middle of the living room. Yellow and green and as out of place as an octopus on a bike in the desert in July. 

Alice walked through the room, casually stepped over the sponge and continued on her way. She didn't wonder how it got there, or why it was there. She didn't even notice the blood seeping out and dcomgealing around it on the floor. It wasn't until she made her way to her office and made herself comfortable at the computer for a long day of working, which translated to fucking around on twitter and not doing much else of consequence, that the souring pad even registered. 

She tweeted to her 57 followers:

@aliceinwonderland: The fuck. There is a bloody sponge in the middle of my living room.

Naturally, her followers, thinking she was British (a fact that was both untrue, and that she let people think true), thought nothing much of the occurrence. In fact, most ignored the post totally, aside from the catty handful that joked about it being a reflection of her poor housekeeping skills. 

Soon, immersed in the flow of all things Internet related, she simply forgot about the scouring pad. Alice wasn't one to take much out of stride wrote it off as a simple lapse on the part of her roommate. He must have cooked and let the dog get hold of the remains. 

Two hours later, when the call of nature urged her toward the bathroom... She found a nicely, albeit bloodily, scoured man and dog dangling in the shower.

"My twitter followers are never going to believe this."