...this post does not warrant a title...

I've forgotten how to be emo. God, I feel so fucking emo right now. All day actually. And for no apparent reason. I had class this morning, and it was good (a bit boring, but good). Then I had lunch with a friend, and we headed back to campus to do a little bit of work in the office (I'm not sure what she was doing, but I had some copying to do). I got caught in the main office teaching a professor how to use Google image search to get pictures big enough to use for her powerpoint presentation, and then as I got into my office, a different professor cornered me about the work I'm doing for him on the upcoming conference the department is hosting. That ended up with a mini-field trip across campus, and then a bigger field trip across town to the hotel where the conference will be held. The lady even gave us freshly baked cookies before we left, and I still couldn't shake the emo feelings in my head.

As the evening turned to night, emo did a damn good job of turning into full blown feelings of wanting to be anywhere but here. Ugh. Anywhere but alive. Now I just feel alone.

Amanda Palmer's new video is doing nothing for my mood, and quite possibly is driving me further and further into my craziness, even though her boots are fucking hott.



You see what I mean? Not good for my psyche. I'm not sure if that means what I want it to, but it will have to do for now.

I don't understand why I'm feeling this today; I want it to leave. At one point, I felt like this all the time. Everyday. I got used to being happy, and staying out of the mire that my mind likes to trap me in when I get slightly depressed at all, but I couldn't dig myself out today.

My bed is calling me. Hopefully, I'll fall asleep and be on the happier side of things tomorrow. But who fucking knows? Maybe tomorrow I'll have a reason to be emo. Life happens.

Philosophy of hate?

"Always give your best, never get discouraged, never get petty; always remember, others may hate you, but those who hate you don't win unless you hate them, and then you destroy yourself." -Richard Nixon

How's that for your hate philosophy? It seems to fit right in.

180 eyes

Professor to class: I'm going to introduce the graduate assistant now.

Professor to me: Why don't you stand up here for a minute so everyone can see you?

I reluctantly stand up and turn around to see 90 pairs of eyes staring me down expectantly. Omg, that had to be the scariest moment of my life. What do they expect of me? I bet most of them think that my sections of the class are going to be the biggest joke in the world. Hopefully, everything will go well, and at the end of the semester most of them think they gained something from my classes. I've got my fingers crossed.

****

In other news, I've been keeping up with the pro-Tibet protests in China on boingboing.net (I love BoingBoing.), and today since all of the protestors should be safely home from their stints in Chinese prisons, BoingBoingTV aired the Xeni Jardin's interview of the two American videobloggers who were in China to make sure the protests did not go unnoticed.

I've never been the kind of person who is into protests and whatnot. I guess because if it doesn't directly affect me, it doesn't exist for me. But I do sympathize with the Tibetans, and I think it was both courageous and stupid to protest Tibet at the Olympics. I admire those who did.

pro-Tibet videobloggers

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Lastly, my internet adventure today took me to a website featuring the girl soldiers of the Israeli army. The pictures are all striking and usually feature a girl carrying a huge gun around with them. I'm glad that military service isn't mandatory here in the States. I like the posters in the background of this photo.



****

180 eyes were put into perspective for me after seeing these websites. I don't live in under a totalitarian regime, and I have yet to be forced into the Armed Services. I'll take my life over theirs any day.

****

I wish I lived in London.

Happening right now: A massive fire in the heart of Oklahoma.

I drove to my parents house this morning with my window down, the Dresden Dolls blaring, and singing at the top of my lungs. I didn't notice until I got all the way home that my speakers were strained, and now they are cracked. It's really really really annoying to have cracked speakers. Mine are ALWAYS cracked, but I was trying to keep these in good condition, and they lasted about a year before their death.

****

I got my hair cut today. I let her do what she wanted with it. It's kind of crazy, and she cut the top a bit too short, but I really like it. It's really awesome, and different, and fun, and cool.

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Seems that I'm going in random directions with my thinking today, but back to my singing in the car. Occasionally, I would find my mind wandering to random things. I couldn't decide if while I was zoned out in my head (I know, I know, that's scary because I was driving.), I was able to keep singing or not. I would try to decide if I'd been singing after I noticed that I'd been spaced out, but I could never tell. Now I'm really curious to know if I was singing or not, but I can't figure out a way to find that out. Sooo annoying.

****

Yesterday, I was reading random livejournals and I stumbled upon an entry that mentioned that they had been reading The Plot to Save Socrates. That is a hella awesome name for a book so I did a quick Google search and the synopsis sounded as cool as the name, so I found it on Amazon and bought it. I'm so excited for it.

****

A Native American tribe in Oregon has legalized same-sex marriages. Lucky for them.

Good bye, olive sky...

I had a whole lot of things I wanted to write about tonight, but the time has gotten away from me, and now it's time for bed. I finished a shirt tonight and two are drying right now. One will have additional stencils to paint on, but at the moment it has to dry before I finish. I'm still not sure what I want to put on the hoodie, but I'm sure I'll figure it out.

The most exciting thing I did today: put Star Wars on my ipod. It was very nice, and I am very much a geek. You know what? I'm even a bit proud of it.

Tomorrow, I will pick up the +44 cd from the library, and I will get my hair chopped off. I'm excited! I hope to cut it super short this time. I couldn't ever really cut it that short before, since I had to be able to pull it back for working purposes, but... since i'm no longer cooking food, I don't have to worry about that anymore. I hope she makes it look awesome!!!

Wow. I'm super excited about everything today for some reason. What is my deal?

Anyway, bed time. Night night. :)

Claymation ZOMBIES!!!!!

I must admit. I like this short.

Chainsaw Maid

Dumb Americans...

From a television show:

Foreign detective to suspect: Wir nicht in America.

American detective: What'd you just say to him?

Foreign detective to American detective: I simply told him we're not in America anymore.

Is it just me or is that the dumbest American you've ever seen? You don't have to be able to speak any foreign language to know what she said to him. Duh. If this is how American television portray American's, I'd hate to see how other countries television portray us.

Emailing is fun!

I spent most of today emailing my mom since she just upgraded from Evil dial-up and can actually use it. She was cracking me up, and she's completely convinced that I have nothing to do at my job and that she needs one just like it. I just wish that my job didn't end in a week, because I'm afraid that being a graduate assistant is going to be more work than a student worker. Being a student worker has definitely been the easiest job I've ever had. Plus, it gives me ample time to play on the internet.

I noticed after my last entry that Google was advertising for Amanda Palmer's new CD on my website. How cool is that? Super cool.

Speaking of Amanda Palmer... I've been keeping up with the saga of her death here, here, and here, along with her very own blog, here. Their lives seem so much cooler than mine. What have I done this summer? Sat behind a desk every day of my life. What did they do? Awesomeness. How lame am I? Super lame. I'm waiting for the new video to be posted on youtube, but it doesn't seem to be out yet. I'm sad. I think today's the day for it... I guess we'll wait and see.

This seems to be a completely random entry today, but whatever. OMG, I'm really freaking scared to teach classes this year. All those kids are gonna think I'm soo lame. I'm going to like... get there on the first day, and they are all going to give me the evil eye and I'm going to melt right there into a puddle on the freaking floor. It's going to be a sad day. I'm really not looking forward to it. On the upside of things, I do get my very own key to the history department, so that's exciting.

I'm really hungry now. Pizza tonight, but I'm hungry now.

God, I hope when I'm a history professor, I'm not annoying. Why are professors so annoying? That is a question of the ages. I hope I'm not sentenced to a long life of annoyingness... but I'm afraid I am.

Teaching is scary...

I just recieved my assignment for the Fall semester. I'm gonna be teaching 3 FREAKING classes. WTF?!

The life of a student worker...

...usually agrees with me very well. Especially on the days that I have nothing to do, but browse the web or do homework at my leisure. Unfortunately, today was not one of those days. I think I managed to xerox close to 1,500 pages for various professors. I also got exams ready, and cleaned the workroom. But it was the copying that took up most of my day.

I'll be finished with work soon. I've gotta make a trip to the library after I clock out. I'm not exactly looking forward to it. It was already sweltering out when I biked across campus this morning. Now it's probably an oven.

I noticed that the web as a general rule was a bit dead today. Not sure why, but I didn't have nearly as many blog entries to keep up with. Don't know why. Just an observation.

Another thing I did today was look for the books for my paleography class online. One of them I found, and it is currently being shipped in my direction (according to the email I recieved). The second book, I found super cheap with Bookfinder.com, but I knew it was not to be, since it was being sold by abebooks. For some weird reason, that stupid website always has the best deals, and they ALWAYS reject my debit card. I have no idea the reasoning behind it. Every other online book retailer loves to see the little numbers of my debit account and they eat them right up, but for some reason abebooks spits them back at me everyFREAKINGtime. I'm convinced they hate me, but I don't know why.

I must go now, so I can lock the doors before I leave. Maybe I'll post something more interesting next time. :D

Night Photography

I practiced with long time exposure shots last night. They turned out really well. I'm impressed with me.





This photo was taken after I started using a bucket as a tripod. It worked a lot better than just setting the camera on the ground, but still wasn't quite tall enough. That's why so much grass is in the picture. I could have edited it out, but I actually am pleased with the effect.





This photo was actually the first picture of the series. I was still just sitting on the porch trying to figure out exactly how it would work, and it turned out beautifully. Beginner's luck, I suppose.