Review: The Buried Sky by Keith Hartman

Somewhere in my electronic travels, I read a review of Keith Hartman’s “The Buried Sky.” (Actually, I do remember exactly where and why I found that review, but it’s a long story so I’m not going to elaborate.)  I bought it on a whim.  The price was right.  Then I didn’t even bother reading it for 2 weeks. 

I know, I know… I’m a habitual book buyer.  I try not to read reviews anymore because I will buy whatever book might be featured.  Doesn’t really matter if the book is about underwater basket weaving or what, I will pick it up and put it in my “To Read” queue if I read a positive review.  It gets ridiculous sometimes. 

In the case of “The Buried Sky,” I am exceedingly happy with my whimsy.  It’s a short read (I read the whole thing over the course of an evening in front of the television.), but the story is highly entertaining.  It’s essentially a murder mystery that takes place in a confined environment.  Our fearless main character is the prime suspect in the murder of his father, and in discovering his father’s murderer, he also discovers the truth of their Y2K-style confinement. 

I don’t want to give anything more away, but “The Buried Sky” is an interesting look into humanity, and what means people will take to hide the truth. 

The price is right.  Go buy it.  Go read it.  Go.  Do it, already.

The internet has made me a hypochondriac.

Before Google, I lived my life a happy and healthy.  I scoffed at people who thought they always had the latest disease, illness, or psychological condition. (I still do, for that matter, but that’s beside the point.) Then… I grew up.  I came to readily rely on the internet (and Google) to answer all my questions.  Some of those questions revolve around health issues. 

In the last month, I have researched migraines, tumors, ulcers, Alzheimer’s, loss of vision, and dementia.  In the last month, at some point, I have believed that I have all or one of the above mentioned afflictions.  That’s only in the last month.  I’ve been convinced I’m bipolar and depressed.  I’ve believed that I suffered from carpal tunnel.  I also believed I had been abducted by aliens.  (Okay, that last one is only a joke for emphasis.) 

None of the above have ever been confirmed by a physician.  Never have I brought up any of the aforementioned afflictions to any physician.  Only Google.  Google is my best friend and, quite possibly, my worst enemy all wrapped up in the warped sense of well-being I get when I self-diagnose. 

I realized today that Google is like crack for a hypochondriac.  I’m glad I’m not actually a hypochondriac; I mean, imagine what weird conditions I could imagine I suffer were I one.  I can’t help but worry that I am secretly ill and will die a slow, horrible, and painful death.  I suppose everyone worries about their mortality.  I worry that I’m too young to worry about mine.

Dear Google,

When I believe I am suffering from some rare disease or, for that matter, some common one, I am no longer coming to you.  I will not share my fears, because you are unable to assuage them.  You are not my friend.  I am not a hypochondriac.

Love,

@notthegirl

Review: Apex Magazine, Jan edition; edited by Catherynne M. Valente

Fiction:
“The Itaweon Eschatology” by Douglas F. Warrick
“The Tolling of Pavlov’s Bells” by Seanan McGuire
“Tomorrow and Tomorrow” by Mary Robinette Kowal

Poetry:
“The Terminal City” by Preston Grassmann
“The Unkindest Kiss” by Mike Allen

Apex Magazine features dark science fiction and fantasy short stories and poems.  Fiction Editor Catherynne M. Valente outlines the kind of stories she looks for to publish in the magazine:

What we want is sheer, unvarnished awesomeness. We want the stories it scared you to write. We want stories full of marrow and passion, stories that are twisted, strange, and beautiful. We want science fiction, fantasy, horror, and mash-ups of all three—the dark, weird stuff down at the bottom of your little literary heart. This magazine is not a publication credit, it is a place to put your secret places and dreams on display. Just so long as they have a dark speculative fiction element—we aren’t here for the quotidian.*

Not sure where I discovered this magazine, but when I learned that Seanan McGuire, a.k.a Mira Grant of the Newsflesh trilogy, had a story featured in the January issue, I had to check it out.

I can’t say I’m at all disappointed with the line up.  All three featured short stories are amazing, and I managed to consume the whole magazine in the course of a work day.  I devoured the short stories, and particularly enjoyed Seanan McGuire’s “The Tolling of Pavlov’s Bells” and Mary Robinette Kowal’s “Tomorrow and Tomorrow.” McGuire’s is the story of the end of the world as we no it.  Not quite a zombie apocalypse, but an apocalypse all the same.  Kowal’s story takes place after the apocalypse and tells the tale of a woman framed for murder.  I can almost imagine the two stories are a part of a single story that occur in a greater novel.  Even Warrick’s tale, “The Itaweon Eschatology”, while not my favorite of the three, wove a spell around me and kept me intrigued throughout. All three stories were haunting and raw, and of the kind one could read over and over again.

The magazine ends with two poems, “The Terminal City” and “The Unkindest Kiss.” I tried to like these poems.  I read them at least 3 times apiece.  However, as much as I wanted to like the poems and as good as they probably are, I can’t say that I’ve ever liked poetry all that much.  I’m never sure exactly what the author is trying to say, and I’m sure that is part of the charm, but I prefer my fiction as a story.  Like a head on a platter, there is no denying that the person is dead.  That’s how I like my fiction.  Not like a photo of someone you killed for me, you bring me a photo; I’m 100% certain that person isn’t dead.  That’s why I’m not a fan of poetry.

If you like speculative fiction of the dark variety, I suggest you check out Apex Magazine. It couldn’t be more accessible, and it comes at a nominal fee.  Subscriptions are 12.00 a year. Single issues are available in most eformat’s including the Kindle store for 2.99, and if you are patient enough to wait for the new issue the previous issues can be read for free on the website.  It’s awesome.  And full of awesome.  Read it, and believe it.

I am starting the current issue already.  I couldn’t wait.

*Taken directly from the submission guidelines at the Apex Magazine website.

How does your garden grow?

Very well, actually.  Thank you for asking.  Oh really, you’d love to see my flowers.  Imagine, I had just been sitting here at my desk admiring them myself.  I do enjoy having a bit of Mother Nature right inside my bunker of an office/bedroom/locker.  Here, I’ll take you on a quick tour.  I’m sure I’ve shown you before, but I’m glad you are interested to see how they are doing. 

These are my little terrarium babies who live on my desk.  They are about an inch from my computer screen and are the most easily accessible plants for me to see while I’m doing my everyday computer stuff.  You know… blogging, writing, internetting.  That sort of thing.  I don’t even have to move my head at all to see enjoy them.

These plants live about two feet directly above my computer.  They are a bit more difficult to see from my office chair, but are easily as fun for me to admire as the terrariums.  What you don’t know is that the plant on the far right with the purple leaves has beautiful blue flowers right now, the one next two it has purple flowers, and the one on the far right is just finishing up it’s latest blooming cycle of pink and white flowers.  They do go crazy up there.  The other two plants you can see, I grew from cuttings stealthily snitched from plants in public spaces.  I do enjoy a little renegade gardening every here and again. 

If I turn my head 30 degrees to the left my other trove of plants live on top of the bookshelf behind the television.  (I know.  You wouldn’t imagine all the places plants like to live.  As long as they have lights on a timer and water, they are happy to grow in a closet.) 

The one hiding behind the telly has pretty pink flowers, but I had to pick them all off and toss them today since they’d finally dried up.  The tall one in the back is mostly foliage.  It’s a collection I got on sale or something and it’s about tripled in size since I got it.  Come spring, it may go outside and stay out to free up some room in the bunker for more flowers.  And last but not least, the noble orchid sits in the front.  I’ve only gotten one flower cycle out of it, but I’m ever so patiently waiting for the shoots to come out to grow into pretty yellowish flowers. 

Now, don’t go telling me you can’t have a little bit of Mother Nature inside.  I am getting to have a jungle in a dark storm cellar.  Go figure.  Thanks again for asking about my little planets.  I do enjoy sharing.  (Maybe a little too much.  Hehe.)

Someone's been having fun.

Wherein I discuss minor problems with self-experimentation

Apparently, I am no good at self-experimentation. I'm only on day two, and yet I already screwed up my experiment. The problem is my complete lack of being able to function in the morning. I don't understand, but along with not being able to get up, I also feel sick in the morning. (No, I am not pregnant. Thank you very much.)

It's really frustrating to not be able to do a simple thing. Millions of people wake up in the morning. Millions of people get up and make breakfast and have coffee. I want to be able to do that. I am willing to take suggestions. Any ideas?

Sent from my iPod, Astronaut.

Audiobook Review: Neverwhere written and read by Neil Gaiman

 

I’m trying out this new thing where I wake up in the morning and do stuff.  I hate mornings.  I hate doing stuff in them.  Please, excuse me for any grumpiness or general early morning shenanigans that may or may not occur in this early morning blog entry.  I’m sleepy.  (I’d rather go on talking about how sleepy I am, but I’m going to attempt writing a review.)

I joined Audible last month, because I’ve been wanting to listen to Neil Gaiman’s Neverwhere for at least a year. (Mind you, I’m trying out the free first month and 7.95 deal for three months; then I’ll decide whether to keep it or not.)  I wanted to read it long before that, but for some reason I could never manage to get started.  I knew it would be great if I could just do it, but I never could, so I decided that listening to the audiobook would be a better route for me.  Long story short, I finally downloaded the audiobook and listened to it in the car and while I work on the weekends.

I have to say that I’ve heard Neil Gaiman read in person and loved it, and this audiobook is no exception.  It is a splendid listen, if only to hear Neil read.  When paired with the story, it is unmatched by any audiobook I’ve ever heard.  (First of all, there is something about an audiobook read by it’s author that is great in it's own right; and second, it’s even better if it’s the unabridged version.)

Maybe the universe was trying to tell me something.  I am sure that I preferred the Unabridged audiobook version of Neverwhere more than I ever could have enjoyed the physical book version.  The story, characters, and setting (don’t get me started on any of those, because I’ll never be able to stop) were all there, but, when combined with the melodic reading by Gaiman, there is no match.  Even if you have already read Neverwhere, I absolutely recommend that you listen to Neil’s audiobook version.  You will not be sorry.

(Look at that, I managed to be awake in the morning before I absolutely had to be up.  Go figure.  Maybe I CAN do this morning thing.  Just… Don’t get too used to it.)

Book Review: Fate of the Jedi: Vortex by Troy Denning

I think by now we all know that my one weakness is Star Wars novels.  MY ONE WEAKNESS IS STAR WARS NOVELS.  There now we are all on the same page for those of you who didn’t know.  Anyway, somehow I missed the debut of the latest Fate of the Jedi novel (Vortex by Troy Denning) months ago, and only recently acquired it.  All other books in progress were disregarded after the acquisition of this new book. (My weakness, remember?)  I’ve been working on it all week.  (Not actually sure why it took me even that long to read it.  Usually, they only take a couple of days. I must have been busy.) However, I’ve read it now.

Okay, here’s a quick summary, Luke has been banished from Coruscant until he fixes all the problems in the galaxy.  Mostly, this is because the new boss lady of the government is an ex-imperial who hates everyone (but doesn’t have the Force, so she’s not entirely evil).  He and Ben go off to figure out what is going on in the galaxy, and find the biggest super-villain ever who has been banished into the Maw for centuries, and also they find thousands of Sith warriors.  Since the new boss lady hates the Jedi, the rest of the Jedi are stuck on Coruscant and Luke and Ben have to take on the super-villain and the hordes of evil Sith all by themselves (or at least until everyone can get unstuck from Coruscant).  Awesome, right? 

That’s right.  It is awesome.  Did I mention I love Star Wars novels?  This one is excellent.  I love the novels that center on Luke and all the gang from the original trilogy.  Some are lame, but this one has it all.  Luke, the Solos, Sith.  Drama, mystery, intrigue.  And Luke and Ben take on a whole freaking TRIBE of Sith.  All by themselves.  Don’t tell me that isn’t awesome.  The only problem I had with this book was the super-villain.  I know, I know… What else are the Jedi going to fight?  At this point they’ve pretty much solved every problem in the whole galaxy, but I don’t know Abeloth seems… cheesy.  I’m going to give her the benefit of the doubt here, but come on, people, you can do better than this! 

To recap:

I thoroughly enjoyed the latest installment of my favorite Space Opera.  Troy Denning is great at following the Law of George Lucas in his installments (and I’m sure that’s not exactly an easy law to follow), and still end up with an entertaining story that doesn’t seem forced or plotted (although, I’m sure they are very much both of those things).  Plus, there was a whole lot of Saba Sebatyne.  (I have become quite fond of Barabels since The New Jedi Order series.)  I’m going to give this one an enthusiastic thumbs up, but will gently remind people that my weakness is Star Wars novels, and you probably shouldn’t take all of my exuberance at face value since I do have a weakness. 

Blizzard Day 2: A Story in Pictures

The Great Blizzard: 2011 VIEW SLIDE SHOW DOWNLOAD ALL

Blizzard Day #1

Before I begin to describe what transpired today, I would like to explain a little bit about Missouri weather.  In a nutshell, it’s ridiculous.  For example, Friday was beautiful.  It made it up to 50 degrees outside, and I went out horseback riding in just a sweatshirt.  It looked something like this:

Cut to today.  You might remember my entry yesterday about the impending apocalypse.  It came.  I saw it.  It’s currently residing outside in my yard as a couple of feet of white fluffy snow.  It looks more like this:

That is pretty much what the view from my garage looking toward my house looked like.  All day.  I’m not even kidding.  I’m serious as a heart attack.  Before today, I naively thought that blizzards innocent fun times for having no snow.  Why wouldn’t I think that?  I’d never seen a blizzard before.  Today, that changed. 

This morning the weather didn’t seem all that bad, but I rode with my dad into town anyway.  Just in case.  We both went to work.  At work we cancelled appointments, and shoveled snow, until about 9 the owners came in and told us to shut the place down.  (If you knew my bosses, you would know that never happens.  Ever.)  So I called dad, and he diligently fetched me from work, and we decided to head home.  This is what it looked like by then only after two hours of the storm:

I didn’t know if we would make it home.  There is a term called “white out.”  It’s when it snows so much that the sky and everything else turns white as if the hand of God took the liberty of deleting a mistake on a huge piece of personalized stationery.  That’s what it was like on the way home from work this morning.  I’d never been out in anything like that before.  Fortunately, we made it home. 

I made sure all the animals and everyone had plenty of food and water and warmth, and then took myself into the house for lunch.  The blizzard raged on all day.  I began to worry about snow zombies and the abominable snowman.  Then I took a nap.

Two hours later, I awoke.  The weather outside looked much unchanged, but I needed to do something so I decided to venture out to look for said zombies and monsters.  Ridiculous is the only word I can think of to describe the snow.  It came up to my knees in the clear places, and some had drifted up to at least waist-height.  I walked around until I exhausted myself, then I checked on the animals one last time, and headed inside.  I didn’t take any pictures that time; the blizzard raged, and I didn’t want to ruin my camera.  But if you’ll remember the picture from yesterday’s entry.  That’s pretty much what it looked like. 

However, I’ve yet to find the zombies.  I think they are waiting for the storm to stop. 

Me too.