Don't look right now! You'll die of cute overload.

Some questions aren’t meant to be asked.

The difference between me and someone who grew up in the city is that when posed with the question, “If you were stranded in the wilderness with only a knife would you kill a deer or hog by slitting their throat or stabbing them in the guts?” I realize that is a ridiculous question.

It is wrong on so many levels.  First of all, if I were stranded in the wilderness I probably wouldn’t try to kill a deer or a hog.  I would try to catch rabbits or fish.  Secondly, there is no way that you could kill a hog with only a knife without killing or at least seriously wounding yourself in the process.  And third, a deer would just run away from you if you tried to sneak up on it with a knife. 

When the unsuspecting city boy posed the question to me today, I laughed at him.  He seemed hurt, like I had just killed his dog or something.  And he pestered me to answer it.  I went into great detail about how I would attempt to kill both animals (which involved fashioning a spear and or a bow and arrow), and explained that I’d probably not try to kill either of those animals, but would stick to small game instead. 

He gave me the most baffled look.

I realized then that he’d wanted to know if I’d kill it quickly or let it suffer, which is an entirely different question.  And one that he hadn’t asked at all (Had I been thinking, I would have given the easy answer.  That way I wouldn’t have come off looking like Bear Grylls.  Hopefully, I look a bit more feminine than that.)  

The idea of my Scotsman friend stuck in the wilderness with only a knife trying to catch a deer strikes me as hilarious.  I hope he never gets stuck somewhere.  He’d not last long.

Book Review: Magic Kingdom for Sale - Sold! by Terry Brooks

I've been thinking lately about doing thus thing where when I complete a book, I write a short review of it. It's been one of those ideas that I think about often, but then never seem to implement when the time comes to actually do it. I know I've probably finished a small library of books since I hatched this plan in the back of my mind.

Behold! The first ever book review to exist outside of my head since the idea burst forth from my brain many moons ago. However, you must bear with me as my inner literary critic is a bit on the rusty side seeing as he's been on vacation since I graduated. I don't think that will be much of an issue; and nay even be cause for celebration. I always have likes a good party. Okay, I know... That was a lie. But anyway, back to your regularly scheduled programming.

I bought Magic Kingdom for Sale -Sold! by Terry Brooks (which shall henceforward be referred to as Magic Kingdom since typing on a tiny screen with only thumbs shall be made as simple as possible) when I first got the Kindle app for my first iPod touch. If I remember correctly, I thought Magic Kingdom was a free offering from the Kindle store and was subsequently bummed when I realized I had actually spent money on it.

It's possible that is why it took me so long to finish reading it. I say that because having just finished the tale of Ben Holiday and his Magic Kingdom, I realized that it had been thoroughly entertaining. In fact, I wish I would have read it as a child rather than waiting until I got too jaded about money to enjoy a good story.

It is a highly implausible story (At least inflation has increased at least tenfold since it was written because Ben Holiday purchased a whole magic kingdom for the paltry sum of one million dollars. There is no way that would be a viable amount now since there are buildings that sell for much more than that.), but being implausible tends to make it all the more fun to read. Who wouldn't want to buy a magic kingdom and be a king or a queen? I know I would. I only hope the kingdom I end up with has such colorful characters in it. And I hope the dragons are nicer.

If you get a chance to read this book. I would recommend it. Even if it means you have to pay money for it and take three years to read it.

It is a lovely story.

Now, hopefully, you enjoyed my review and are looking forward to hearing about the next book I finish reading. I know I'm looking forward to finishing it.

Love and books.

Sent from my iPod, Astronaut.

Do you remember...

Going to roller skating parties in Jr. High?  I am almost positive that everyone experienced a Jr. High roller rink party. I had been living under the assumption that with the digital age roller rink parties had become a thing of the past. Something that my younger sister would never experience. 

However, I found myself proven wrong in that assumption this evening as I found myself participating in something I hadn't even thought about in years. The Jr. High roller rink birthday party. 

While I might have been the oldest person there by at least ten years, I had a blast. I skated. I hung out with my sister and her friends. And I realized my hopes of becoming a roller derby girl are probably a little fanciful. Especially since I had a hard time just standing on the skates. That's not to say I didn't pretend that the rink with it's columns and lumps and Christmas lights wasn't a roller derby track. You'd better believe I did. 

Aside from my daydreaming, I'm glad my little sister could participate in that old tradition, and I'm glad she's not too cool to keep me from sharing it. 

Sent from my iPod, Astronaut.

A Conversation with my 14 Year-old Sister

I can't believe she said that. Apparently, I haven't taught her well.

"Hey, did you know that guy was a writer?"

"Edgar Allen Poe?"

"Yeah, I learned that yesterday!"

"What did you think he was?"

"An explorer."

The girls he does please…

I researched this song today.  I used to sing it as a kid, and couldn’t remember it exactly.  I still love it.

It's not darkest before dawn.

I get the idea behind this saying, but I don't understand why it ever caught on as a saying. Haven't you seen the sun rise? The dawn. It's not black and then all of the sudden the sun magically bursts forth with no warning. That is not how the dawn works. As the sun gets closer and closer to the horizon, the sky gets brighter and brighter. Then the sky continues to lighten as the sun slides over the horizon.

This makes sense, yes?  The darkest part of the night is when the sun is nowhere near the horizon.

The phrase doesn’t make sense as a inspirational message either.  It is not accurate.  It implies that when things are bad, they will be Really bad, and then they will magically get better.  That does not work in exactly the same way that the literal meaning of the sentence does not work.  Things do not get better overnight, or in a split second, or in the time it takes the sun to rise.  It takes time.  Things get better.  They do.  But it happens gradually.  Like the dawn. 

So from now on, please, do me a favor.  Do not try to be helpful, and use the phrase, “It’s darkest before the dawn.”  It’s not helpful.  It doesn’t make sense.  And it doesn’t actually help anything.  You can’t make anything better by saying a phrase.  You just gotta be there.  That makes things better, gradually, like the sunrise.