What I learned from my beautiful horse...

I got my first horse in the sixth grade. Her name was Crystal (which I quickly and, rather pompously, shortened to Crysty), and she was the most beautiful horse my 12 year-old brain had ever seen (mostly because she was mine). Crysty was half-trained and a bit on the skittish side, but I trained and rode and worked with her every day for years. I taught her to barrel race, and we got third place (and won 17 dollars) in the first and only rodeo we ever entered.

I'm 30 now, 31 tomorrow actually, and about a year and a half ago my beloved first horse came up lame. She was somewhere in the neighborhood of twenty years old (I never knew exactly how old she was when I got her, just that she was young.), and had never had any major health issues in her life. The veterinarian came out and diagnosed her with arthritis in her front legs. Nothing could be done except joint supplements and anti-inflammatories and lots of love. I never rode her again.

She hobbled on after her diagnoses. You could tell she hurt, but she could do all the basic things a horse should do and she was always happy to see me. Crysty was the most talkative horse I've ever met. She always greeted me with a nickel and would come to the fence to see if I'd brought her a treat. She would accept pets if I hadn't remembered to bring a treat with me.

Early this autumn, Crysty couldn't always walk. Sometimes, I'd go out to her pen and she’d nicker, but couldn't get up. I'd dutifully get her medication and do my best to keep her comfortable, but I was at a loss of what to do beyond that. I work in the veterinary field, but on the small animal side. I'm comfortable with options for elderly dogs and cats, and have processed probably close to or over a thousand bodies in my career. I had no idea what to do with a 800 pound horse.

This is the main reason I'm writing this for my blog; I couldn't find any information on what to do online. People really don't talk about these kinds of things. It's hard. I don't want people to be afraid of talking about what will happen after animals die, I encounter so many people in my work who have never considered it. It's never occurred to them that their beloved pets will one day need them to make the ultimate decision. Ask your veterinarians. They want to help. I forgot about that when I was worrying about my beautiful horse.

By the beginning of November, I knew there was no way Crysty could make it through the winter. She basically would get up for only an hour a day. My amazing horse was old, and she couldn't be a horse any longer. It wasn't fair to her to keep her alive just for me. She had given me everything in her twenty odd years, and now it was my turn to give everything back.

I asked my veterinarian and in my area basically the only thing to do with a horse after they’ve given the euthanasia injection is to bury them. On 19 November this year, I held my beautiful, best horse while my veterinarian administered the injection. She still lives on my parents property, and will forever.

I will miss her. I do miss her. I still expect her to greet me when I walk out the door. Hopefully, she’s winning all the barrel races in the sky. She was fast. She was amazing.