A Conversation with the Gatekeeper

In a perfect world, Wal-Mart would provide wifi for all it's customers. That way, in lieu of having a always on mobile connection, us non-connected souls could update our blogs in nearly realtime about our issues with their annoyances (or perhaps even our enjoyments).

The issue I had today lies with the Tire and Lube department (where I am currently waiting for my tires to be balanced and rotated). The gatekeeper of said department met me at the entrance, without even the courtesy of letting me get out of my car. (Mind you, I have brought my car to my secondary Wal-Mart. But in a perfect world, all departments would be connected and there would be no issues about what previous gatekeepers had explained.)

I politely asked for a balance and rotation as my car is sorely in need of both. The gatekeeper asked if I had their super perks free balance and rotation program, which I politely replied that I did as I handed her the paperwork the previous department had given me when they said, and I quote, "Since you've bought a tire with us you now have the Road Hazard warranty and the Lifetime Balance and Rotation."

The gatekeeper took one look at the paperwork and insisted that there was no warranty, and insisted that once I paid for a balance and rotation here, then, and only then would I have the lifetime balance and rotation. The only problem with that being I've already paid for a balance and rotation here before. (So not only do they not communicate with each other, they also don't communicate with themselves.) At the point, I became angry and got, dare I say, bitchy with the lady. I insisted that I Did have the correct warranty and that she should either look at her records or call the previous store. Then, I did something I'm sure was unheard of for her. I opened my glove box cum filing cabinet and pulled out all of the receipts I had ever gotten from having my wheels done at Wal-Mart and found the receipt from months ago when I got my tires done here. Much to her chagrin, I did, in fact, have the correct warranty. In her defense, she quickly apologized.

I suppose this is a warning to all who may partake in the great value of having your tires done at the world's favorite blue big-box chain. Be prepared for them to want to make you unnecessarily pay, and keep all your receipts. I won't stop coming here, but I will be ever diligent and no evil gatekeeper (who I'm sure takes classes in getting swindling poor souls) will get me to pay money they are not owed.

P.S. Dear Wal-Mart, while I appreciate the fact that you put disposable seat covers in before getting oil and tire gunk all over the interior of my car, can you please start disposing of them before I have to get back in it. It would be much appreciated.

Addendum: It took me exactly as long to write this as it did for them to finish my car. Almost exactly a half hour for those of you keeping score.

Sent from my iPod, Astronaut.