The Specimen

My girlfriend had a collection of specimens. She picked them up from here and there. Parking lots. Woods. Roads. Wherever she happened to go. When she saw something worth keeping, she put it in a jar on the shelf in our basement. She called it her specimen collection. I never knew what I would find when I perused that shelf.

The day that I found a thumb floating in a jar was the day that I knew I didn’t know my girlfriend as well as I thought. The thumb, shriveled and grey. Seemed to be looking at me. Accusing me. I didn’t know what to do.

I did nothing.

I should have asked her about it. Really, I’m not sure why I didn’t, but I convinced myself there was nothing amiss. It couldn’t really be a thumb, could it? Surely not.

The night the police came the pounding on the door was as loud as a few grenades exploding next door. What was going on? I didn’t know. They told me to open the door, or they were going to break it down. As I hesitated, the door came flying inward. It almost hit me, but I had stopped just far enough away that it missed.

As the men came swarming through my newly broken door, my thoughts went to the thumb. What had I done? What had she done? They asked me where she was. I didn’t know, but I knew where that jar was. As I led them down the stairs, I knew my life would never be the same again.

Spider x 3

“Oh! Spider! Oh! Oh!” squealed my beautiful girlfriend as we smoked our before bed cigarettes on the porch stoop. I watched her squirm for a few seconds before I smashed the spider with the palm of my hand. Her relief was palpable. She loves me for my mad spider killing skills.

***

The spider sat in the bottom corner of her web as it shook violently. She sat quietly, and instead of running to see what she had caught. She sat quietly. She wasn’t hungry. She was dead, but a minuscule copy of her ran out from below the web. The baby knew instinctually to run at the intruder, wrap it up, and save it to share with the other babies hatching from the egg sack down below.

***

“Mommy, why do spiders have so many legs?”

“To make you ask questions, honey. Why do you ask?”

The little boy shook his head, and sat silently in his car seat. His mother glanced back at her son. She could only spare a glance, as she was preoccupied with the traffic on their drive home. She didn’t notice the small black and red spider sitting cupped in her son’s small hands.

I didn't intend to be a swimmer...

...but then I ran in 74% humidity.

The slowest five miles I think I've ever gone. 1:22:06. It was awful. I hated every single second. Mother Naruee needs to get her act together. I live in the Midwest. Not a freaking rain forest.

Quick Running Update

The holiday is really messing with my schedule, but I managed to get out for a quick 2 miles today.

Plus, I got some new running gear and books on sale, and have plans to get a kayak tomorrow. Cross training here I come!

I Missed Two Days

I ran 0 miles on Thursday. Instead, I went with my family to put flowers on graves. Family comes before running.

Today, I got up to run and there was thunder and lightning. I draw the line at running in lightning, so I went back to bed. 

Now, that I've skipped a couple of days, I'm thinking it wasn't a bad idea. My hip is feeling better. And I have a race in two weeks, and it would be nice to run it without my hip killing me. No excuses. Back to the grind tomorrow.

Flawed Logic: An Integral Part of Running

 

5 miles. 1:18:28.

Tonight is my Friday. I had a hard time getting out for my run today. I was tired. I am tired. I’m ready for my weekend. When I finally got my gear on and headed out the door. I still didn’t feel like running. After the first mile out, I still didn’t feel like running. I got back to my house after the second mile (I did an out-and-back first one way, then the other.), I almost threw in the towel and headed to the showers.

That’s when I thought, “I’ve already run 2, I might as well run 3 more.”

In my head, that made perfect sense. And I did finish my five miles for the day, but I thought about it later and realized that in no world did that logic make any sense whatsoever. It still did the trick.

Running is absolutely 100 percent head games. That and a pinch of flawed logic.

I am one large tan line: includes illustration

I noticed after my run today (6 miles. 1:25:15.) that my tan lines are getting out of hand. It’s not even summer yet, and my tan lines are absolutely ridiculous.

Here is a surprisingly accurate illustration.

*Special thanks today go to the person who drew this outline. It is the first image when you do a google image search for “female outline.” I mutilated it for my purposes. I apologize.